The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
