I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
