Sry I called you an 8
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
