The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
