i can't believe i had my finger in that
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
