He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
