I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize