It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
