Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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