Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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