worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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