I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
And then my night got REAL pukey
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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