I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
