just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
