is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
