dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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