I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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