what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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