drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
