I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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