its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
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He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
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I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
There's even glitter on my cock...
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