Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
