do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize