...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
