BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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