I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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