the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
