Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
