my vag is so smooth its legendary
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
she pinky promised me she was 18
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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