so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
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