yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
