fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
