YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Another day, another engagement, another cat
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
