I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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