i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
