i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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