ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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