I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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