She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
