okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
