After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Randomize
