I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize