I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
