my vag is so smooth its legendary
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
