have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
