Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
