I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize