Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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