I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
