yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize