If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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