Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
