I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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