capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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