I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We need a shit load of segways right now
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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