Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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