Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
