We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
He passed out mid-signature
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize