$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
