One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
