Well douche your snatch and let's go!
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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