All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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