I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
