Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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