i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
