We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
