i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize