i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
