She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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