If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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