I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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