Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
