His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
