Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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